Towards the liberation of Gender

This one was published in Queerelle, the Australian Queer student annual ziney thing - http://querelle09.comfypage.com/

Gender Queer has always been an interesting term to me, it is a label against labels, a steryotype against steryotypes and a box against boxes. It is a term applied to misfits, to outlaws, to those who don't feel comfortable within any of the traditional gender steryotypes and, lets face it with only two to choose from they are kinda boring. Gender Queer is for those who don't want to just push the boundaries of traditional gender steryotypes but create an entirely new and individual way of relating to gender – or doing away with gender totally, so that we can all be free to choose how to act, what to wear etc. without the restrictions of an oppressive socialisation.
Gender, as opposed to Sex, is learnt through socialisation. While sex refers to the chromosomes you were born with, gender has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with society. Gender is a set of rules that say 'Women wear dresses' 'Boys play rough' etc. These rules dictate an amazing amount of our lives to us, they tell us how to act, who to be attracted to, they determine how others interact with us, the risk of sexual assault, what careers we are suited for and more.
The thing I love about talking to other gender outlaws or about reading their experiences, is that everyone is different, there is no standard prescription. By (attempting to) cast off all expectations we decide our own rules or decide against rules altogether and move a step closer to liberation, the liberation of our identities, the liberation of our right to choose and the liberation of our desire.
The politics of being Gender Queer is the politics of personal experience and and shared stories. It is not something some psychiatrist can diagnose, or some academic can analyse. It relates to our individual stories which we share to create a mosaic that can eclipse the old, stagnant society of biological determinism.
Some people know they don't fit into gender boxes from a young age. However I never thought about it until puberty. As a boy, I was happy being a boy. I rode my bike real fast. I played in the mud. I ripped my clothes. I thought girls were silly when they played house. Puberty came as a massive shock to me, as I discovered how boys turned into men, as I discovered how we were supposed to behave as we grew up, I was disgusted. The stories laid out for me, told time and time again in magazines and in movies, by teachers and parents, those stories didn't fit any more. I didn't want to become a man. I didn't want to be strong or hairy like move stars. I didn't want to be a breadwinner like my dad. I didn't want anyone to assume I was more intelligent or better than my female friends. I didn't want to inherit the responsibility of being male. I didn't want to treat females as objects like my peers did or take a sadistic role in sex, like the pornos told me to. I did want to be able to express my feelings and communicate my desires. I did want to be able to wear clothes with frills, or lace, or ribbon. I wanted to be free to wear a dress. I wanted to be able to tell my friend I am attracted to him and not get bashed or ostracised by my other 'friends'.
I personally am lucky in that I have never come crashing up violently against gender expectations. To me gender is more like a constant barrage of low level attacks. The strange looks and questions like: “Why are you wearing a dress?”, being heckled in the street “FAGGOT”, the masculine characters in books or on the screen, those boxes you have to tick that say male or female, like it is not enough to just be fucking human. Like everyone has made up their mind before talking to you, based on your sex. Everything is telling me to conform, everyone (almost) expects homogeneity. But like so many oppressed, every step towards freedom that is made by anyone anywhere, brings me a little closer to my own liberation. So I implore you, if you are not comfortable with the crappy arbitrary expectations that are placed upon you: REBEL AGAINST THEM. Make your own rules, reclaim your identity, choose to live however you want and live your desire. It will make us all a little more free.